One of the things ADHDers struggle with is the idea of self-acceptance. Especially in the aftermath of a late in life ADHD diagnosis.
Feelings of inadequacy and failure can become our norm and it’s easy to slide into the role of our own worst critic- picking up on every slight error or inadequacy and piling on the guilt and shame.
We then inadvertently train our brains to look for evidence of the fact that we’re somehow not good enough and sure enough, the brain finds it on a daily basis.
The truth is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are different and that’s ok. The sooner you accept this about yourself, the sooner you will become aware of all the amazing qualities ADHDers have rather than focusing on the struggles.
Self acceptance- the ability to accept yourself completely
exactly as you are.
Self-acceptance isn’t liking or approving of yourself, it’s just actually getting to know your genuine self and accepting the reality whether you like it or not. It’s easy to accept parts of yourself that you view to be good or successful, or that other people have expressed approval of, but the other parts can be more difficult to accept- especially if you have experienced criticism, punishment or disapproval in the past.
Add into this the crazy time after an ADHD diagnosis where you’re starting to remove the “mask” you’ve been wearing for perhaps decades and trying to figure out who you actually are underneath the ADHD traits, coping strategies and subconscious blocks that have built up over the years. It’s no wonder it’s confusing and difficult.
When building self acceptance remember the following:
-Every journey starts with a single step. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have all the answers immediately. It’s a process- be gentle on yourself and it will come with time.
– Awareness is key. Learn everything you can about ADHD and spend time becoming aware of your unique version of ADHD. What are your strengths and struggles? What are your ADHD Superpowers?
– Be the observer and not the judge- give yourself grace and understanding.
– Understand that you are Neurodiverse in a world designed for Neurotypicals. You’ve been spending a lot of time trying to squeeze into a mould that is never going to fit you. And good that you’ll never fit because why expend so much time and effort trying to be ordinary when you were born extraordinary?
– Other people’s opinions of you are worth nothing. They don’t know what it’s like to be you and they definitely don’t get the power to decide your worth. Most people don’t have any understanding of what it’s really like to have ADHD, so they don’t get a say.
Doing this work to develop self acceptance is going to bring you so many benefits as you begin to view your ADHD as a gift rather than a burden. Exciting times!
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